On the road with the Shield
by LoveXbitesXsoXdoXI
Summary: One shots centered around the Shield in random situations! If there is one you think would be funny leave it in a review and I shall write about it! :)
1. Nicknames

Seth scrolled through his tumblr tag as he sat in the backseat to pass the time as him and his fellow shield members and closest friends drove the 3 hours to the next arena when he busted out laughing.

"If you have jokes Seth do share." Dean said as he stared out the passenger seat window in hopes of distracting himself from the boredom he felt.

"Dude these chicks gave us the _dumbest_ nicknames ever. Mines Sethy." He said busting out laughing.

"Do I even want to know mine?" Dean asked uninterested as his eyes grazed over the cars and people inside them hoping to spot a hot chick.

"I dunno _Deany._" Seth said trying to hold in his laughter and Dean let out a sigh.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He muttered after hearing the nickname his fan base had given them.

"Romans has to be the best." Seth continued in his laughing fit. Roman, who was driving, had completely tuned them out, but once he heard his name along with Seth's uncontrollable laughter he looked at him in the rearview mirror.

"What could possibly be so funny?" Roman asked in the same uninterested tone as Dean. He just wanted to get to the arena.

"You're nickname, man. Oh my god." He said wiping the years from his eyes and Dean turned in his seat.

"Okay this one I gotta hear." He said cracking a smile. By the way his friend was laughing, the kind of laugh that lacks breathing and makes you go red in the face, he knew it had to be good.

"It's fucking RoRo." He said and Dean couldn't help but begin to laugh as well.

"You mean like ' row row row your boat gently down the stream'?" Dean asked as Seth's laughs became silent and he slapped his knees while his face went beet red while nodding. "Jesus Seth, breathe." Dean said laughing along with his friend but Roman looked far from amused. "Come on RoRo what's wrong?" He asked trying to keep a straight face but it cracked into a smile as he snickered.

"I'm gonna RoRo my foot up your ass if you call me that again." Roman said stiffly from the driver seat.

"Come on we all got nicknames, right Deany?" Seth asked leaning between the seats of his friends.

"That's right Sethy." Dean cooed at him as he stroked his chin like he were a child. "RoRo just doesn't like his." He continued to say in that child like voice when Roman swerved to the side of the road.

"Get out. Both of you out." He said frustrated with the pair. Seth sat back in his seat quietly, all humour gone from the vehicle and Roman began to drive again content with the silence.

"What RoRoed up your ass?" He heard Dean mutter as he went back to staring out the window and Roman swore he was getting speared as soon as they reached their destination.


	2. The Conjuring

"Man why did we have to come and see this film?" Dean complained as he and his companions squeezed past people to get into the back row.

"Shut up and quit being a sissy." Roman said as he sat. Rarely did they get time off to do other things and Roman was not going to let Dean ruin it.

"Yeah man, you could have gone to see something else, we didn't make you come." Seth agreed as they sat in the uncomfortably small seats.

"I am not a sissy and I refused to go alone." Dean said defending himself.

"Whatever but the minute you hold my hand I'm gonna punch you." Seth said causing Dean to slap him on the back of the head as the lights in the theater dimmed.

"Ow what wa-" Seth began but was met by another slap to the back of the head from Roman who shushed him along with a few other people. "You guys are dicks." He mumbled in a softer tone as he rubbed the back of his head. Dean was tense as the movie began, he was not a fan of scary movies at all, but tried to put on a tough exterior.

"Dean pass the popcorn." Roman whispered loud enough for him to hear. Dean was already in the misdst of taking another fistful when he looked down to the nearly empty bag then back to Roman before handing it over. "Are you kidding me?" He said looking at Dean unimpressed.

"What? I'll get more." He said through his mouth full as he began to chew. His cheeks were puffed out like a hamsters. The music changed dramatically making Dean sink down into his seat in anticipation making Seth chuckle.

"Scaredy cat." He said and was met with a punch to the thigh this time. "I swear I'm going to smoother you in your sleep." He said through clenched teeth as he gripped his leg and tried to keep all sounds to a minimum.

"Cowbrose get more popcorn." Roman said tossing the bag at him without taking his eyes off the screen which resulted in the bag smacking Seth in the face.

"Im never sitting in the middle again. " He said yhrough clenched teeth as he crumpled the bag jn his tight grip before shoving it at Dean, who gladly stood and left the room to go to concession.

"Can I get a refill of popcorn, extra butter, a large root beer, a pack of m&ms." He said going on as he ordered almost everything from the conssesion. Except chocolate covered raisens, those he hated.

"Would you like a tray?" The young girl asked noting how difficult it would be for him to carry everting.

"That would be great." He said before returning to the theater with his treats.

"You just missed an awesome part." Seth whispered to him once he got back.

"I don't give a shit. It was probably stupid." He said slouching down in his seat and holding his drink close to him as he looked up at the screen with wide eyes. Dean looked like a scared little boy. So far nothing majorly scary happened but he was still on edge.

"Don't go in the basement, don't go in there." He began to whisper and both men could hear the fear in his voice which, sadly, mirrored their own inner feelings. Something popped out and Dean was the first to jump and scream like a girl, sending ever single open package in his lap up in the air and showering all over his friends and the people in front of him.


	3. Old Spice

**A/n for miss dixiewinwrites :)**

Roman stared at the horse and the only thing that came to mind was 'fuck'. The company had an agreement with old spice to do an endorsement for their product and Roman was their first pick.

"Alright Mr. Reigns whenever you're ready just climb up on the horse and we'll get rolling." The director said and Roman reluctantly walked over to the beast and gently touched its hide.

"Trust me I'm not that thrilled either." He whispered to the giant brown Clydesdale.

"Alright so step up with your left and then swing your right over and you will be in the position of backwards riding." The director said and Roman looked at him confused.

"I thought you said I wasn't actually going to be riding?" He asked as he froze with his foot in the sadle.

"No no they'll be holding the reigns and we will just CGI the horse moving. Nothing to worry about." He said with a smile and, with a sigh and shake if his head, swung himself up onto the sadle and sat with a thud in its back. The horse let out a whiny and quivered beneath his weight before kicking up its front feet making Roman fall forward and cling to its ass.

"Get me off this thing!" Roman said as the crew struggled to keep hold of the restrains but the horse was too strong and took off at a trot, making Romans head bounce up and down against the horses behind. It took them a few minuted to get the horse under control as it ran around the studio, knocking over important and expensive equipment.

"I am so sorry about that." The director said once a shaken Roman was off the horse.

"Find someone else for the job." He said rubbing his sore jaw and leaving the set.

"Play it again!" Seth said as him and Dean broke into fits of laughter after viewing Tue footage they managed to catch on camera before the horse knocked it down. Dean hit rewind and played the scene for what seemed like the hundredth time and it seemed to get funnier every time.

"I swear to god I'm burning the fucking tape!" Roman said walking into the dressing room and catching his friends watching Romans face being smashed into a horses ass over and over. He went over and pulled the disk out of the DVD player and snapped it only to see the smiles of his friends.

"Do you really think that was the only copy?" Dean asked and Roman paled.

"We made so many copies and sent them out as early Christmas presents to everyone on the rooster." Seth said with a giant grin.


	4. Titanic

"Why the hell is it so dark in here?" Dean called into the hotel room as him and Roman made their way inside. Seth hadn't been feeling well, he slept most of the day, so both men decided to go out and allow him to rest.

"Seth where are you?" Roman added when there hadn't been a response and there was a loud bang nearby as if something had been knocked down and both men became on edge.

"Seth!?" Dean called again as him and Roman cautiously entered the room and they seen a quick movement out of the corner of their eye that darted straight into Seths room and soon the door was slammed shut followed by the sound of a pained cry.

"Don't worry Seth we're coming!" Roman yelled as him and dean rushed over to the door in an act of heroics. Dean threw the door open as him and Roman both fought to squeeze through the door at the same time and when they managed to get in the sight before them made both their jaws drop.

"Ice berg right ahead!" A man on the TV screamed. Seth sat on the bed, eyes puffy and red from crying as he used the big spoon he'd gone to the kitchen to retrieve, and shoved a heaping pile of ice cream into his mouth.

"Don't look at me." Seth said through a full mouth as he let out another heart broken sob. Dean and Roman were trying to hold in their giggles.

"Seth what the hell are you doing?" Roman questioned with his hands on his hips.

"What does it look!" he said snapping on them and sounding like a teenage girl and both men couldn't help but break into gut wrenching laughter.

"But why a chick flick?" Dean joined in.

"I'll have you know this is a classic!" Seth said as he thrust the spoon towards his friends as if it were a sword to emphasize his statement, only for the ice cream he intended to eat ended up flying off the spoon and landing on Deans shirt. Roman was quick to use his finger and swipe it off before sticking it in his mouth.

"Dude, seriously?" Dean asked looking at Roman creeped out.

"Hey it was chocolate." He said shrugging his shoulders. "You gonna eat that whole tub?" Roman asked looking at Seth who was holding a giant tub of ice cream to himself.

"You can have some on one condition." Seth said.

"I'll never let go, I promise." Rose said as she kissed Jacks dead hand before letting it go.

"Roman pass me some tissue." Dean said as his eyes began to water. The bigger man pulled some out for himself before handing the box over and wiping under his eyes.

"This is stupid, I hate this movie." Roman said taking a giant scoop of ice cream and shoving it in his mouth.

"Seth hold me." Dean said as he cuddled into his friend who held him while he cried.

"There there, it's only a movie." Seth said as he fought back his own tears when the credits began to roll.


	5. Just Dance

"Dean you're up!" Kaitlyn said excitedly as she left the floor open for him.

"I am not drunk enough for this shit." He said as he forced himself to his feet and took the Wii controls from the diva.

"Woo show em what you got!" Seth cheered in mockery. He was glad it wasn't him having to dance to hips don't lie.

"Shake it like its going out of style!" Roman added in making everyone laugh at Deans expense and he turned to glare.

"Hey RoRo, keep it up and I'll make your ass get over here with me." Dean said making Romans face fall as he picked up his beer and chugged to keep from snapping at his friend.

"Shut the fuck up." He said turning his glare on Seth who was laughing his ass off. Seth was the reason both of the other men had come, luring them with offerings of beer and leaving out the fact it was Kaitlyn's birthday party and they would be having a just dance compition.

"Come on Dean, work those hips." Kaitlyn said with a giggle as Dean began to follow the moves on screen. The most shocking thing was that Dean actually knew how to move and when it came to wiggling his hips he swore he heard everyone on the room gasp.

"Jesus Ambrose don't hurt yourself!" One of the other superstars shouted out when he began to the ass smacking hand motion while swinging his hips and both Seth and Romans mouths dropped to the floor.

"Alright who's next?" Dean asked out of breath once he'd stopped and much yo his surprise not a single person wanted to go after him.

"There is no way anyone can top that performance." John cena said knowing it was on everyone's mind.

"This is going to sound extremely gay but that was quite possibly the hottest thing I've ever seen another man do." Seth said and Roman looked at him as though he had three eyes and scooted his chair a little farther away from him.


	6. RoRo's revenge

Roman peered around the corner with a huge grin as Dean, looking around to make sure no one was watching, did his usual routine of freshening up after the show which involved pouring baby powder down the front and back of his pants to keep his skin from chaffing due to the sweat that collected down there.

"Hey Assbrose, you ready yet?" Roman called as if he just walked in. " Seth's out there having a hissy fit cause he wants to leave." He continued knowing princess Seth was always moody after a show.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch RoRo." Dean called back as he fixed his hair in the mirror before pulling a face. A weird tingling sensation had begun in his pants but hr shrugged it off as he grabbed his bag and met Roman at the door.

"Finally, what took you so long?" Seth whined as he stood with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall next to the exit with annoyance plastered on his face when he seen his friends.

"What did we talk about Seth." Roman said as he looked to him while using his back to open the door and watched as he rolled his eyes and signed.

"No more whining after shows because were all tired...and its dickbrose fault." He added at the end with a chuckle only to get punched in the arm. Deans genitals were getting increasingly uncomfortable and he didnt know why. He powdered for crying out loud!

"Ow what the fuck!? Lighten up for god sake." Seth said as he rubbed the tender spot.

"Learn to shut up." Dean snapped he was aggigtated now, and a little worried. He knew he shouldnt have slept with that prostitute a few nights ago.

"Listen ladies, both if you shut up and get in the car." Roman said tossing his bag into the passenger seat before either men could stake claim. He needed a well deserved break from them.

"What the hell man?"Dean asked when his usual seat was taken.

"You ride in the back tonight bud, I'm not listen to you two bicker back and forth right in my ear." Roman said taking the drivers seat. Dean reluctantly got in the back, his genitals getting a little to warn for comfort but he didnt dare say anything to his friends. The drive back to the hotel was slow and agonizing for Dean as everything concealed within his boxers seemed to suddenly ignite.

"Dude what are you doing!?"Seth asked horrified as he watched Dean struggle to undo his belt in haste.

"Jesus fucking Christ is there any water in here?!" Dean yelled as he tore pants off and tossed them to the floor. He began to rake his nails across his skin as the insatiable urge to itch hit him bit it only made the burning and itchy feeling worse.

"Here." Roman said with a huge grin as he opened an old water he was drinking earlier and tossed onto Deans crotch only for him to let out a pained cry.

"Oh god please don't be herpes!" He yelled making Roman bust out laughing.

"Dean its itching powder." Roman said with a satisfied smile as he watched his friend.

"Roman you ass wipe!" Dean yelled once they reached the hotel. He exited the car in nothing but his boxers and both Seth and Roman laughed as he waddled into the hotel as fast as he could to try and find some quick relief.

"So who set him up?" Seth asked thinking it would be Daniel or Punk, or any other prankster superstar.

"It was me Seth. Let that be a warning to you. Call me RoRo ever again and you'll suffer the same fate as Assbrose."Roman said with an evil smirk as he looked at Seth's horrified face before walking into the hotel.


	7. Girl Scout Seth and Daddy Dean

"You guys have no idea how much we appreciate this." Roman said smiling with his arm snake around his wife's waist. They were currently in his home town and Roman graciously allowed his friends to stay with him in exchange for them to watch his 3 year old daughter so he could have a night out.

"Don't worry, you two just have a good time." Seth said returning his smile while Dean tried to hold in the walrus sounding sigh that seemed to escape his lips making everyone turn to look at him oddly.

"Is he okay?" Romans wife questioned as she looked at Dean worried.

"Yeah he's fine." Seth said with a smile as he forced the words through clenched teeth and kicked Dean in the shin without drawing to them as the couple left. "Can you be less of a di-" Seth began when he felt a tug on his pant leg and looked down. The cutest little girl was standing in front of him and Seth immediately feel in love.

"You were saying?" Dean asked but Seth just ignored him.

"Hi precious, what's your name?" He asked picking the poker faced toddler up.

"Jeska." She said with emphasis on the Ka sounding and Seth was putty in her hands while Dean looked at her like some sort of alien species.

"Well Jessica, I'm Seth and this is Deany." Seth began and Dean resisted the urge to punch him upside the head due to the obstruction that was a toddler.

"Well I'm gonna go watch football." Dean said as he went to turn on his heels but Seth caught him by the back of the shirt.

"Uh-uh, hold her for a second, I'm going into the kitchen." Seth said with a smirk as he held her out to him. Dean cringed when she held her arms out to him for him to hold her before reluctantly taking her and holding her at arms length suspended in air.

"Hi." He said looking at her. "Poor kid, you look just like your dad, and he's not much of a looker. Hopefully when you grow up you look like your mom because she is ho-"

"Dean!" Seth scolded him from the kitchen.

"A very nice woman with morals." He said quickly correcting himself.

"Deany oopid." She giggled out and Dean glared at her.

"Did you just call me stupid?" He asked her as she stuck her finger in her mouth and nodded still giggling.

"Why don't you guys read a story or watch a movie while I make some food." Seth called once again as the sound of cupboards opening and pans clanging emanated loudly.

"How about you watch the kid and I'll cook." Dean called as he set her down and walked into the kitchen.

"No chance, I'd like the kid _alive_ when Roman gets back." Seth said.

"Are you fuc-" He began in a loud tone before Seth glared at him as a warning. "Are you kidding me?" Dean asked in a softer tone.

"Dean you are the only person on earth I can imagine would find a way to burn the freaking air. No." Seth said in a voice of authority and Dean sighed.

"Fine I'll read the kid a story." He aid as he pulled out his phone to search up a good one. "Alright Jess sit down, shut up and enjoy the ride." He said taking her into the living room and setting her on the couch. "It was a dark stormy night..." He began.

"You told her a scary story?!" Seth yelled as he tried to console the sobbing child.

"It was a mild story compared to what I usually read." Dean said defending himself.

"The stories you tell children are about Princesses and bunnies and happy ending, not, "Seth covered her ears. "people getting hacked up into little bitty pieces!" He said glaring at his friend.

"Well how was I suppose to know that? You're the one acting like the child expert!" Dean said back.

"You know what? Just go watch football and I'll take care of her since you can barely find your way out of a dimly lit closet." Seth said taking her into the kitchen where the smell of chocolate chip cookies drifted into his nose.

"Yeah...well...you'd make a better girl!" Dean retorted only to hear Seth scoff. Dean walked into the living room and sat down on the couch as he flicked on the TV and began to watch his game. Moments later a very angry looking three year old walked into the living room with her glass of milk and marched right up to him. "Can I help you?" He asked taking his eyes off the screen momentarily.

"Deany oopid and Deany mean!" She said stamping her foot on the floor before tipping her milk glass onto his lap.


	8. Deans rude awakenings

So Roman wanted to play hard ball, huh? Well Dean could play that way too. He waited patiently in bed on his side with his eyes closed to give off the impression that he was passed out cold. Roman snored loudly letting Dean know now was the perfect time to gracefully roll out of bed, minus the grace. His leg got tangled up in the bed sheet making his top half hit the side table and knock the lamp off.

"Dean what the hell are you doing?" Seth asked as he was jerked from his sleep from the lound crash.

"What the hell does it look like?" He sarcastically asked as he began to try and wiggle his foot free. Romans snore stopped suddenly for a moment and Dean froze, afraid he too would wake up and question his precarious position.

"Do you need help?" Seth asked in a loud whisper.

"Just shut up and go to sleep." Dean whispered back harshly. If Seth ruined his plans for revenge then he would become the next target of Deans wrath.

"Jeez why you gotta be so mean? I was only being nice." He heard him mummble before his darkened form laid back down. Dean finally got free of the cursed bed sheet and crawled into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, and grabbing a bowl he'd placed under the sink earlier in the day when both men were in the hall waiting for him. He turned the taps to the sink on until the temperature was just right and placed the bowl under and let it fill.

"This will teach you." He whispered maniacally as he watched the bowl fill with a smile. When it was done he carefully lifted it out of the sink and tip toed back to the room. He took his position between Roman and Seths bed before slowly taking the larger mans hand and lowering it into the bowl of water. His shifty eyes then trailed to a sleeping Seth and he thought 'what the hell' before adding his hand in too. Moments later, when he was sure it worked, he removed their hands and dumped the water before going back to bed.

"What the fuck!?" Roman yelled when he woke up in a wet spot that smelled like piss.

"Oh god I wet the bed." Seth said an octave higher than usual as he sat up shocked after being awoken by Romans boisterous voice. By this time Dean had also woken up and was trying to hold in his laughter.

"It was you wasn't it?" Roman asked as the rage began to build when he looked over to Dean who was grinning like a fool. "You son of a bitch!" Roman yelled as he jumped off his bed and onto Dean who was laughing his ass off under the covers. Roman began to pound on his form underneath the covers hoping he'd hit Hus face.

"Why me, though?!" Seth asked confused while he removed himself from his bed. He grabbed his pillow and joined Roman and swung as hard as he could.


	9. Menchies

**For Miss Debwood-1999 :)**

Frozen yogurt. A delicious low fat treat everyone enjoyed. Everyone except Dean. Due to his lactose intolerance he had to avoid dairy like the plague, but since his unethical prank on Seth and Roman it was his job to treat them to what ever they wanted and frozen yogurt was just that.

"Uhm..." Seth said staring up at the screen.

"Would you hurry up and make up your mind?" Dean snapped at the indecisive man only to receive a very hard elbow in the ribs from Roman. Patience was one thing on a long list of things he lacked.

"Shut up and let the man pick his yogurt." Roman said as he waited for the girl to make his.

"Look Dean, they have lactose free!" Seth said pointing up at the screen.

"So?" Dean asked looking at him raised brows. "Pick!" He ordered and Seth rolled his eyes.

"Just telling you so you can enjoy the delicious fat free treat. Its better than ice cream." He said with a grin.

"Fine if it will make you order faster I'll get some if that lactose free crap." He said.

"Strawberry banana for me." Seth said and when they all received their cups they picked a table and sat. Dean lifted the lemon smelling yogurt to his lips and gave it a lick. Not bad at all.

"This is great!" He said in delight as he began stuffing his face. Seth looked at him in disgust before clearing his throat, making Dean look up with a trail of melting off white yogurt dripping down his chin looking much like something else.

"Stop being a pig we're in public." He scolded him as Roman tried his best to hold in his laughter while looking at the drippage on Deans chin.

"What's funny Roman? I dont see or hear anything funny going on." He said slightly agitated before smiling. "There was this one time though where I made you both piss your beds."

Seth and Roman looked to one another, an equal thought coming to mind.

"Dean, hot chick, 3 o'clock." Roman said making the united states champions head swivel around. While he was distracted Roman swapped their yogurts knowing that in five minutes flat he would be running for the washroom.

"I dont see anyone." He said turning his attention back to his friends and resuming eating. "This tastes funny."

"You missed her she just walked out the door." Seth said trying to keep his cool.

"I thought I was eating lemon this tastes like...banan-you asshole!" He shouted at Roman as his abdomen began to cramp and the bloating began. He hadn't noticed the taste difference until half the cup was gone and he already knew what was coming next.

"Send us a post card while you're in there." Roman said with a cheeky smile as Dean pushed his chair back so hard it fell over and made haste for the bathroom.

"I'll fucking bag the after math and set it on fire outside your doors." He said back as he undid his pants along the way.


	10. Designated driver

Roman hated being the designated driver. It wasn't the job itself but the two morons he was in charge of who were already piss drunk and grinding on each other making everyone give them the oddest of looks.

"Alright you two let's go." Roman said as he grabbed both men by their shirts and dragged them out to the rental car. He had enough with watching them progressively get worse with each drink they had and decided he would spare them the ridicule if any one from work seen.

"Turn on the music!" Seth cheered as he crawled into the back seat. As soon as Dean was sat his fingers were quick to turn the knobs.

"...they call me Stacey, they call me her..." The song played and Roman rolled his eyes.

"That's not my name, that's not my name." Seth belted out to everyone's surprise and even did the sassy hand motion to let people that definitely was not his name.

"The call me that girl, they call me Jane, that's not my name." Dean joined in as he began to attempt booty popping in the front seat.

"And I'm stopping this." Roman said turning the radio off.

"Hey come on! Turn it on!" Both men protested.

"You guys are annoying the piss out of me." Roman said as the beginning of a head ache was beginning to form.

"Boo, boo!" Dean began before Seth joined in. Roman didnt know what was worse at this point.

"You know what, I'll turn it on if you guys shut the fuck up. Deal?" He asked and they nodded with solemn faces as Roman turned the radio back on at a much lower volume. Minutes passed and the two managed to keep their words even though Roman could tell how badly they wanted to jam out to the radio.

"I threw a wish in the well..." Began and Roman sighed deeply while Seth and Dean instantly perked up.

"Hey I just met you and this is crazy! But heres my number so call me maybe." They said jb the most horrendously high pitched voices. Roman couldn't take it anymore, so he pulled to the side of the road and dropped his head into the center if the steering wheel and let the horn blare of the sound of their god awful singing.


	11. Jen

**A/N For HellsYeahBitches :) (Please send in some more requests!)**

"Guys this is Jen." Seth said proudly as he walked into the hotel room holding the pretty girls hand. The guys had decided to get takeout and it was Deans turn to pick so Seth already had the phone to his ear before Dean had to say a word ordering what each man wanted and then offered to go out and get it on one condition. He was going to introduce them to the girl he was seeing and he wanted them to be on their best behavior considering going to get the food always broke into a wrestling match and loser had to go and he was willing to do it.

"Wait, you mean to say she's actually letting you nail her?" Dean asked coming up and taking the brown bags out of Seth's hands only to receive a stomp on his foot. Dean let out a yelp and nearly dropped all the food onto the floor but Seth made sure he kept his balance before glaring at him in warning.

"Is he all right?" Jen asked and Seth turned to her with a charming smile.

"Of course, he always stubs his toe. He's like a dog and gets really excited whenever there's food." Seth said and this time Dean glared at him while muttering under his breath about how much of an ass he was. Seth guided her over to the tiny kitchenette are the hotel room possessed equipped with a 4 seater table.

"Hi I'm Roman." The big man said going over to the petite girl and offering his hand to her. she looked the slightest bit afraid but took his hand anyway and gave him a smile.

"Nice to meet you." She said before Dean stuck all the bags on the table, wiped his sweat hands on his pants and then offered his as well.

"I'm Dean, if things don't work out with Junior over here give m a shout." He said with a wink and click of his tongue making Seth fight the urge to punch his very close and very exposed mid section. Dishes were soon passed around and while usually all three of them fight over the tiny containers, now it was only Roman and Dean.

"I swear they're not always animals." He said casting a weary smile at his date.

"What are you talking about? You're just as bad if not worse." Dean said once he was finished filling his plate and did what Dean did best. Seth swears he could have been a hamster in his previous life, or maybe he was just channeling his inner spirit animal or some shit.

"Yeah, once he elbowed dropped Dean through the table." Roman said through a full mouth and Seth shook his head. This was probably the worst idea ever.

"True story. He's also came close to throwing Roman out the window a few times and he's a big boy, watch yourself." Dean said and the table shook as Seth's knee hit it when he kicked out and hit Dean's shin making the other man yelp and spit out food.

"Seth that wasn't nice!" Jen scolded him.

"Sorry..." He muttered being the only one to use chopsticks and begin to eat.

"Can you teach me how to use those?" Jen asked a few minutes in and with a smile Seth began to try. Completely turned off by the laughing pair Roman and dean shared a look as if to say 'get her out of here, now'.

"Hey Gin, I've got a story for you." Dean began.

"Her names _Jen_." Seth said through clenched teeth.

"You see this man right here," He said banging on the table in front of Seth to indicate it was indeed him. "he's a real experimenter in bed." He said and Roman nearly choked on the food he was trying to swallow as he did his best to contain the laughter.

"Dean I swear..." Seth muttered giving him the dirtiest look as he clenched his jaw.

"Seth it's okay, we all do some weird things in bed, but you, you just take it to a whole new level of weird." Dean said with a smile and this unknowingly captured her attention in a very bad way.

"What do you mean by weird?" She asked giving her full attention to Dean.

"Oh man this I gotta hear." Roman said with a huge grin as he put down his fork and also gave his attention to Dean. He had a special talent for making up lies right on the spot and it never ceased to amaze. Seth leaned back with his head in his hand as he waited.

"A few months back he was dating another girl and it was basically the same scenario as now. Chinese, us and you guys. Well Dean takes her back to his own separate room off one like this and next thing I know all I hear is 'no don't stick that there.'" He said mimicking a females voice and trying not to laugh as he told this lie. Roman was ready in the face and hitting the table. "Low and behold he'd taken one of the chopsticks and-"

"Alright that's enough of that!" Seth yelled smashing his fist on the table as the two men broke into belly rumbling laughter. Jen stood from the table, throwing her chopsticks down and looking at Seth in disgust.

"Don't call me ever again pervert." She said as she stormed to the door and left. Seth looked after her awestruck at the fact she actually believed them.

"No ass for you, huh Sethy?" Dean said as he stood and pinched his cheek.


	12. Sushi Mushi

**Thank you Ms Debwood1997 for this request :)**

The 3 men entered the Japanese cuisine restaurant due to Romans sudden need to venture into a new world of food choice. Seth had protested the idea but was sadly out numbered 2:1 and not wanting to find a place last minute and eat alone he reluctantly went in and sat at the table.

"We aren't really going to be eating any of this stuff right?" Seth asked feeling nauseous as he looked at the Japanese-English translated menu.

"If you're gonna puke Seth, put the menu down and leave." Dean said as his eyes scrolled down the many options for sushi rolls.

"I'm just not up for the idea of eating raw fish..or..squid? That's just disgusting." He said dropping the menu onto the table and shaking his head.

"Ou! They're live too." Roman said casting a smile over at his slightly greening friend who in turn flipped him off.

"Are you fella's ready to order?" The server said coming up to their table.

"You have a lot rolls." Dean said. "I'll take 5 of all of them with some of that was-wasa...that green stuff right there." He said pointing to the wasabi. Seth knew from experience that wasabi was extremely hot and not very appetizing but he wasn't about to tell Dean that. If Karma was going to bite Dean in the ass Seth hoped she took a nice big chunk out of him.

"Alright and for you two?" He asked after taking down Deans order.

"I'll have some vegetarian rolls." Seth said trying to avoid any type of raw sea animal.

"I want squid." Roman said and Seth cringed at the thought of having to watch him kill and eat a live squid.

"Alright I'll be back in a few minutes with your order." He said taking off.

"Roman has got some balls man." Dean said smiling and hi fiving his stable mate.

"Just make sure you have 911 on speed dial for when he gets salmonella poisoning." Seth muttered as he stuck his elbows on the table.

"Dude if people couldn't eat it I'm sure they wouldn't serve it." Dean said rolling his eyes at Seth. He could be such a drama queen sometimes. Soon the waiter was back and placing bowls and plates in front of them and Seth did his best to avoid looking at the slimy, wiggling thing in Romans bowl. Dean picked up a single chopstick and began to stab into the center on the rolls.

"Man these are good!" Dean said stuffing roll after roll into his mouth. One day he was going to choke and Seth was just going walk away and pretend he didn't see a thing.

"Put some wasabi on it, it tastes waaaay better." Seth said taking a veggie roll and popping it into his mouth. Roman was busy enough trying to tame his own dish to notice the other two until Dean smashed his fist on the table after covering two entire rolls in wasabi and putting them both in his mouth. The sweet beaded his forehead as he tried his best to keep chewing and swallow but it was just too hard, so he ended up spitting them out onto his plate and chugging his glass of water.

"You son of a bitch." Dean said as he grabbed Seths also and downed it to try and put out the blazing dragons breath he was feeling.

"Excuse me how do you kill this?" Roman asked flagging down on of the servers.

"You don't you just put it in your mouth and chew." They said and now Roman was a little iffy on his dish choice.

"Come on man you can do it." Dean said encouraging him once his mouth returned to normal. Roman put the chopsticks down and just grabbed the squid by its gooey head, picking it up and turning it every which way to decide how he was going to do this.

"This is dinner not a date Ro." Dean said as him and Seth began to chuckle when the tentacles latched onto his lips making it look like he was making out with it. Finally he managed to pull it off and turned it around so it was head first and dove for it. Seth hadn't intended to watch but as shock set in he couldn't take his eyes away.

"Look Seth it's waving at you." Dean said when one of the tentacles still hanging out of Romans mouth began to quiver in Seths direction. Seths face flushed and before either men knew it, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell sideways off his chair.


	13. Public Violation:Assbrose

**A/N Thank you Charlievh! :)**

"Are you kidding me, the bus? Really?" Dean complained as him and his 2 friends walked down from their hotel towards the bus stop and waited patiently with a little old lady.

"Now you can blame Roman." Seth said as both men turned their glare on the much bigger man.

"Screw you guys, I was sick." He protested trying to get the heat off him for forgetting to get the rental car yesterday.

"Yeah that cranberry and vodka's a really killer." Dean remarked sarcastically. "You had _all_ day to go and get the car but instead you napped, played solitaire on your phone, napped again and then decided to go out and get drunk."

"Then why didn't either of you go and get the stupid car?" He retorted at them when the seen the bus begin to pull up. The three of them waited for the old woman to board first and dean, being the some what compassionate soul he was, lifted his hand to hers when he seen her struggle and helped her to board.

"Awe, Deany has a soft spot for older women." Seth chided him with a smirk only to be met with a backwards punch to the abdomen from Dean as he walked slowly behind her.

"Now now boys, play nicely." The old woman said when she heard the sharp intake of breath from the other man from the obviously sounding blow.

"Oh he's used to it." Dean said casting a smile down at her as she toke the only available seat while they all stood in the middle of the floor.

"Well it doesn't seem that way."She said taking in the pained expression of Seth.

"Me and him rough house all the time, foundation of our relationship." Dean said pulling Seth in and giving him a noogie. The old lady smiled and went wide eyed.

"Oh, I had no idea you two were together, it's nice to see couples unafraid to show their love." She said with a beaming smile as Roman snickered. Dean and Seth looked like deers caught in headlights about to get ran over by a transport truck.

"No, no, no we are not together at all." Dean said shaking his head and crossing his hands in the same fashion as Daniel bryans 'No!'

"Strictly friends, even though sometimes I wonder why I'm even his friend." Seth intercepted as he pointed between the two.

"Well even though you're not together, if you ever decided you would be quite the handsome couple." She said making Dean shake his head and Seth force a laugh at this unbelievable turn in the conversation.

"Guys our stops next." Roman said pulling on the stopper as the bus began to slow.

"Well it was nice chatting with you." Dean said.

"Pardon an old woman for saying this but you are quite handsome for a younger man and if you ever would like the company of an older woman, just look up Helen Martins in the phone book." She said winking directly at Dean and who paled and looked at her incredulous.

"Alright guys time to go." He said trying to usher them quickly off the bus when he felt a hard tap on his ass and he looked back even more afraid and gave her a wave.

"Bye Helen." He choked out before pushing Seth into Roman and forcing them through the bus door faster.

"Hey man, what was that for?" Seth asked as Roman turned set on elbow dropping Dean onto the concrete.

"She touched my ass man, that old woman touched my ass." He said in shock and his friends slapped their knees and they doubled over laughing.


	14. You're the only Diva we need

**Thank you phoenix360 for this submission :)**

"Well what about Layla?" Seth asked looking at Roman as the two sat back stage stretching in order to get ready for the nights match.

"I was thinking more like Aj Lee or Natalya." Roman said back as he switched to stretch his hamstrings.

"Ajs crazy, Deans crazy enough for the three of us and that much crazy would drive me crazy. I've had enough crazy thanks to Dean." Seth said back going into the upward facing cobra. Dean was just coming around the corner and caught his two friends naming off some of the divas.

"How about Summer Rae?" Seth asked thinking of the dancing diva.

"Nope, already get a boner watching her on screen and dont need one while im wrestling."Roman said joining in the yoga stretch.

"I'm more of a Kaitlyn fan myself." Dean cut in making both men look at each other.

"Really? Cause me and Roman were just talking and we were thinking about if we wanted to have a girl join the shield." Seth said.

"We didnt want to be gender biased." Roman added and Dean looked between the two men with a small smile.

"You want a girl. In the shield. To do what exactly? Stand there and look pretty? What do you think Seth's for?" He said looking at roman who, in turn, was trying his hardest not to laugh.

"Hey! What's that suppose to mean?" Seth demanded as he glared up at Dean.

"It means you're the prettiest princess in all the land." Dean mocked as he leaned forward and glided his hand through the air to give a visual of all the land Seth was princess of.

"Haha very funny." Seth said sarcastically as he got to his feet. "But in all seriousness how would you feel about adding a girl?" Seth asked and Dean pursed his lips.

"No." He said simply making Seth roll his eyes.

"Give me a reason as to why not?" He pushed hoping to try and sway Dean and give it done real thought.

"I already told you, the shield already has a diva. You should be proud!" Dean said and Seth looked like he was ready to spontaneously combust.

"For the last time I ain't a diva." Seth said sassily pointing at Dean with his hand on his hip.

"Roman do you not see it?" Dean asked looking at the larger man and motioning at Seth.

"That reminds me of that time we walked in on him watching Tangled..." Roman said getting up and stroking his chin.

"That was one time!" Seth retorted turning on a dime and now pointing at Roman.

"Oh yeah. From this angle it is definitely there. Gimme you're best grr face." Roman joked as he pawed the air.

"Ya know what? Boys bye." Seth said an octave higher than normal, using Cameron's catch phrase, before turning on his heel like a woman and walking away.

"Alright Sethy go change into your dress and heels then meet us in the ring!" Dean called after his friend who was swinging his hips like he owned the place.

"Screw you Dean. You're just mad that I could actually pull it off better then you!" Seth called back while giving him the finger without looking back.

"Damn I didn't know Seth could be so sassy." Roman said once their friend had gone.

"Told you. Total diva." Dean said back making both men laugh.


	15. FanFiction

"Just one more chapter." Roman whispered to himself, his eyes dry and sore. It was nearly 3 am, how he'd ended up in this perverse world, when he should be going to bed, how much longer could he hold in his pee, all things he'd forgotten once he'd opened up the taboo website. Sure not all of it was that bad...until you delved deeper and deeper into the M rating of slash.

"Jesus Punk, why would you do that to me!" Roman yelled at his laptop screen as he emotionally indulged himself in the slash love story orbiting around him and Punks latest in ring contact.

"Roman, man, what the hell are you doing?" Dean's voice made the Samoans face shoot up in time to see his friend standing in the doorway and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Catching up on some business." He lied as his eyes glued right back to the screen. Before Roman knew it Dean was over his shoulder reading what was on the screen and his face twisted into shocked horror.

"That ain't business man, that's...I don't know what that is." Dean said and Roman looked up and glared at him.

"This is a very well written love story and I don't care what or who it's about, Ambrollins!" Roman shouted without even thinking. Dean looked at him confused.

"What the fuck...Ambrollins?" He questioned and Roman gave him the sassy 'Are you kidding?' look before turning his attention back to the screen and quickly searching for a story centered on his 2 closest friends, being more then just friends. "Dear lord get rid of it!" Dean yelled when he began to read a very intense moment happening between him and Seth.

"I didn't know there was a party." Seth said in a groggy voice as he too stumbled into Romans room shirtless and rubbing his eyes.

"This isn't a party, Romans just reading gay porn." Dean said harshly.

"For the last time it was a love story." Roman said through clenched teeth.

"What..?" Seth asked clueless as to what was going on, the sleep still making his brain function slower then usual.

"Roman is reading stories with him and Punk getting it on and stories about me and you getting it on." Dean stated simply while making the crude humping gesture and Seths eyes went wide.

"Why?! That's disgusting!" Seth said as he looked to Roman with the same disgusted shock on his face that Dean wore.

"It is not! I will have you know I ship Ambrollins so hard!" Roman said passionately looking between his two friends. "Now kiss!" He said hoping for his OTP to be a real thing.

"Alright, that's enough of that." Dean said walking over and closing his laptop before taking it away.

"No! I was one chapter away from the end!" Roman cried as he tried to reach out and grab the laptop from his friend.

"Go to bed." Dean said closing the door and walking away with Seth. Dean glanced over at his friend who looked deep in thought and like he wanted to say something. "You alright man?"

"...just curious as to what some of these stories are about. And what is ship?" He said not having the chance to get to read a thing or question Roman.

"Trust me man, you don't even want to know." Dean said patting his shoulder before going into his room and bidding Seth a good night.


	16. I saw her first!

**A/N Please send in some more requests! :D**

Seth eyed the pretty brunette sitting at the end of the bar looking alone and bored as she rested her head on her propped up elbow and mechanically moved her finger around the top of her glass as she stared into space.

"Man there are a lot of babes in here." Dean said with a giant smile as he gazed at the sea of females that populated the tiny, cramped dance floor. "I badly want in on that." He added biting his lip and making a sexually frustrated face as he watched en grinding up on each other.

"Yeah...great story." Seth said uninterested to Deans crude comments, his eyes still entranced on the girl at the end of the bar. He watched as the bartender slide a drink in front of her, that he knew she didn't order, and then motion down the line to where Seth and Roman sat. She smiled and gave a small wave and Seth noticed from the corner of his eye the Samoan's hand raise in response. "You did _not_ just buy that girl a drink." Seth said in slight irritation.

"Uh...yeah. She's hot." Was Romans reply as he looked at Seth like it was none of his business.

"I was going to buy her a drink." Seth mumbled as he rested his head on his now propped elbow looking miserable.

"This comes from the lady down the bar." The bartender said moments later as he placed a drink in front of Seth. Much to his confusion he looked down and the same girl that he'd been admiring earlier offered him a smile and wave.

"She ordered me a drink!" Seth said proudly as he turned to Roman who was picking at a bowl of peanuts and watching a sports match going on the TV behind the bar.

"Congratulations Seth, you got your first drink." Roman mocked him not taking his eyes off the screen.

"Nobody's bought you any drinks." Seth added smugly only for Roman to turn his eyes on him for a second with raised brows.

"I've had many drinks placed in front of me from random chicks while you were busy being a creep and staring at that young lady." Roman said returning his eyes to the screen.

"What ever I'm going to talk to her." Seth said getting up from his seat. He could faintly see Dean pressing his junk into a poor, unsuspecting females rear only for her to turn around and slap him a good one.

"You dance horribly anyway." Dean called after her as he rubbed his face. Then Deans eyes also landed on the pretty young girl sitting at the end of the bar and suddenly Dean had a new conquest. Seth could see Dean making head way towards his target, both men locking eyes and realizing both men were going after the same girl. Now it all came down to who got there first.

"Well hello there." Dan said seductively as he leaned his elbow on the bar beside her, using his booty to pop Seth in the stomach and take him out of the picture.

"Trust me you don't want to talk to him, he's an asshole." Seth said making a quick recovery and coming around the other side of her holding his stomach.

"You just broke one of the bro rules." Dean said looking at Seth with wide eyes. "I talked to her first and now you're cock blocking me."

"See he's a douche bag, I'm not." Set said smiling at her as he pointed to his chest. The brunette smiled back, looking between both men and seeming to enjoy the attention she was getting.

"My names Simone." She said in a very badly masked male voice that made both friends look at each other in shock.

"Yeah..uh Dean." Seth began in a cracking, high pitched nervous voice. "Romans calling us over, I think it's time to go." He finished.

"Yeah, uh, yeah let's go." Dean said as him and Seth fought to be first in their get away.


	17. New years

Roman sat in the hotel room he was sharing with his stable mates, wearing a stupid little party hat seth had bought them all and sipping on the mixed drink Seth had handed to him while waiting for this god awful night to be over.

"Cheer up Roman, dont look so bummed out." Dean said taking a seat next to his friend.

"I could care less about new years and can't believe you guys are actually making me stay up for this bullshit." He retorted with his elbow on his knee and chin sitting fixed in the middle of his palm. The last time he'd actually stayed up to celebrate new years was when he was about 13, after that he began falling asleep as if it were just any other ordinary night.

"Quit being a party pooper!" Seth yelled throwing streamers over the two. Dean laughed while Roman growled and glared at the peppy drunk, wanting to take the streamers and wrap them around his neck. He would have if he knew the brittle paper wouldn't tear from the slighest pressure.

"The balls dropping!" Dean yelled excitedly and Seth jumped onto the bed next to Roman, both acting like giddy children with their fists clenched and hitting off their knees as they called out the numbers, giant smiles plastered on their faces.

"10...9...8...7...6..." Both of them shouted in time with each other making roman want to bash their heads together. "3...2...1!" They called before leaning over in front of Roman and smashing their lips together. At first Romans eyes went wide at the sight of his two friends kissing, but soon a smile came to his lips as his one true pairing sparked to life in front of him. Roman had waited for this moment ever since fan fiction.

"Roman wake up!" Dean yelled shaking the bigger mans leg. Roman jolted up and looked around stunned. He was still wearing the stupid hat that shifted to his temple and his glass was laying on the bed beside him empty.

"You're gonna miss the countdown man." Seth added as him and Dean sat on their own beds with their eyes glued to the television.

"New years sucks." The big man grumbled before turning onto his side, still suffering the effect the alcohol was having in making him want to sleep.

"Told you we shouldn't have started drinking so early." Dean said rolling his eyes at Seth as he watched Roman pass out for the second time.

"Just leave him, he's a grouch tonight anyway." Seth said pouring them both another drink and handing Dean his. Both of them glanced over to him one last time, a smile forming on his lips that made Seth smile in return. "What do you think he's dreaming about?" Seth asked looking bat Dean who shrugged and took a swig of the particularly strong beverage Seth had mixed.

"Probably some hot babe wearing nothing but a new years banner." He replied as the ball began to drop causing Seth to sit beside him and watch. Neither man said anything until it hit the bottom. "This new years sucked. You're suppose to kiss someone." Dean said as him and Seth looked at one another. Both seemed to lean in slowly before Seth stood up.

"Happy new year." He replied dryly as he finished off his drink and crawled into bed.


End file.
